Peg Wide Web
by Lady Lemons
Summary: Kate starts a new forum on the Peg Wide Web to allow everyone to discuss their enemies, however it turns into an all out bashing of a certain SGA1 team member when they figure out they are all talking about the same person.


Title: PEG WIDE WEB

Summary: Kate starts a new forum on the Peg Wide Web to allow everyone to discuss their enemies, however it turns into an all out bashing of a certain SGA-1 team member when they figure out they are all talking about the same person. Hmmm how many enemies of one guy can get together at one place?

_Author's Note---This was written quite a while ago and I only just found it and transferred it to a word document. Yeah in this fic the events of Irresponsible did not take place and Niam also was not turned into a pile of Replicator chips by Rodney and escaped somehow. However Vengeance HAS happened, so it's little far fetched, but I was too tempted NOT to write it. I mean come on, I had to get all the best villain's together._

Ranting and Raving and Venting:

Dr. Kate Heightmeyer sipped her coffee in silent anticipation as she waited for her laptop to power up. She was dying to log on to her forum to see what kind of response she had gotten for the latest thread she'd created. Her forum was just one of the many sites that could be found on the new internet system based out of Atlantis that now connected the Pegasus galaxy. They had given laptops to many of their allies and set up places for the natives of the Pegasus to connect with their friends on other worlds via the internet system. Many on Atlantis had created sites of their own and more and more cool things were being added everyday that contributed to the diversity of the Peg Wide Web. Old ancient remedies and recipes could now be shared from world to world; various forums had been created as well. Kate had been the first to start up a group dedicated to those who had been affected by the wraith is some way. It was a way for many of the people in Pegasus to share their stories and help relieve some of the pain in their lives. While the _Wraith Help Group_ was one of the most popular not only on Atlantis, but on other worlds, she knew that there were other issues that could be dealt with by allowing some to vent their feelings.

Kate took another sip of her coffee and shifted in her chair to become more comfortable as she quickly navigated to her newest thread, _Foes_. She had started this one because many people on Atlantis and in the galaxy had managed to make people angry and create enemies. Kate hoped that through this discussion group that people could talk about their hostility in hopes of relieving some of it. Oddly enough it was getting a surprising amount of attention. Kate settled back to read the new posts, curiosity consuming her.

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Peg Web Forums—Groups-- Foes:

Moderator: ShrinkDoc

Rules: Now since we all reside here in the Pegasus galaxy, many of us seem to have made some enemies of some kind. Perhaps this animosity you feel towards another person or group can be lessened by talking about it. Stories and examples are fine, but please no names as we do not want to turn this into a bashing or accidentally offend another user.

LUVINYOU: Okay, I was perusing this site and came across this new thread, and I gotta say, it certainly aroused my curiosity. I am normally a very pleasant person, but after certain events I just can't help it. Since we aren't supposed to name someone specifically suffice to say this person ruined my life. I had it all: seven wives, many friends, and I was a respected community leader. Then Mr. Busybody had to show up and take it all away from me. He rained on my parade and I had to flee the world for my life!

NOTMORALTORREL: Seven wives? You get around, or rather did! Ugg, well my guy, I just want to wipe the smirk off his face. I had him backed into a corner, ready to use him and his ship to get off a godforsaken planet. But NOOOO, he had to ruin it all. Then the wraith showed up and I barely got out alive.

LUVINYOU: Awww that's a shame!

MARABARA: HE LEFT ME! We were going to rule together and have many beautiful children, and he upped and left because he preferred his job to ME.

LUVINYOU: How does that make him your enemy? That's not that bad.

MARABARA: Have you ever heard of the term 'scorned woman'?

LUVINYOU: Do you want to meet? I love a woman with spirit.

BUGLORD: I have a tale as well, a little more infuriating than being scorned. I was a test experiment, changed against my will, deceived, and betrayed. Twice I might add. Then I was almost blown up in an assassination attempt. I was barely alive and when I tried to return to my, _people_, I was shunned and cast out. Now however, I have found the key to revenge. I will get my revenge, mark my words.

ANCIENTWANNABE: Let me offer you my condolences. My foe must die at all costs as well. I was betrayed after trying to assist and an attempt was made on my life. I only tried to help, but my programming is something I cannot help, it's my nature.

MEANYQUEENY: I also have a grim tale as well. My foe will die a slow and painful death as will all his kind. Many of my fellow queens are of similar accord. Too many of my brethren have died at his hand or by his command. We will crush his and his pitiful resistance.

MARABARA: Men…..I sympathize.

LUVINYOU: Hey!

MARABARA: Shut up Mr. Seven Wives, sure you _must_ have been _such_ a gentleman.

NOTMORALTORREL: She has a point.

LUVINYOU: HUMPH!

TAVACHIEFTAIN: The person I feel most animosity towards was a man that came to visit my village with several of his friends. He was tried to hit on my daughter as the phrase goes, during the trade negotiations. I was thoroughly insulted and my village forced them back to the gate. We would never trade with such rude people.

BUGLORD: Terrible, terrible, no class at all.

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By this point Kate had finally caught up on all of the posts. The thread certainly seemed to be working out, as it seemed some were willing to share their thoughts on the matter. Since the last couple of posts had been put up in the last half hour, Kate decided to get involved with the conversation.

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Peg Web Forums—Groups-- Foes:

SHRINKDOC: It seems that most of you have clashed pretty forcefully against your foes. My question for you though is, "Was it warranted?" Did you do anything to cause it? For tavachieftain, all I ask you to consider is that perhaps this person was unaware of your customs. Perhaps you should not have resorted to violence so soon.

LUVINYOU: Of course not! I did nothing of the kind. He showed up at my village first.

MARABARA: Yeah, and seeing what you had, I bet it was chivalry. No man needs seven wives. My only crime is trying to strengthen the bloodline. He was perfect and he left me! Stupid soldier swine!!

BUGLORD: I existed. That was the only reason I was captured. Wrong place, wrong time effect.

NOTMORALTORREL: That sucks! I might have done something to cause retaliation, but I am a forceful guy. What can I say?

SHRINKDOC: Okay, I see. Hmm, let's look at one instance and see if we can resolve this as a group.

E-KOLI: Here is a lost cause. I honestly do not think that I will be satisfied with anything other than a slow painful death for this monster. First of all, he came to my planet, snooped around and found out things he shouldn't have, helped leave a fellow man of mine for dead, and stole a valuable piece of technology. Encounter Two: Thwarted plans of mine and killed over sixty of my men in cold blood. Oh yeah, and shot me too. Encounter Three: I almost killed him, but was tricked and left in a tomblike place. Encounter Four: Leverage. I had him right where I wanted him and was ready to kill him. Unfortunately luck was not on my side and he escaped making me a fool once again. Well, next time it won't happen again. I am killing him on sight.

BUGLORD: I empathize. There is only one answer to your problem. Death on your enemies.

LUVINYOU: Wow, I didn't realize one person could be so much of a pain.

SHRINKDOC: Ummm, yes, I agree that does seem to be a lost cause unless there is some way for the two of you to let go of what has happened.

E-KOLI: Ha! Easier said than done Doctor, I swear next time I see that colonel I am shooting him on sight.

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After reading that last post, something clicked for the psychiatrist. _Colonel._ _Well how many colonels are out there? Ewww this means that E-Koli is Kolya. And of course he would be referring to Colonel Sheppard._ Kate shuddered at this thought, and then wondered how awkward this was going to be. However the posts that came next continued to raise uncomfortable feelings as well as other members picked up on the post from E-KOLI.

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Peg Web Forums—Groups-- Foes:

BUGLORD: Are you referring to Colonel Sheppard?

E-KOLI: I HATE that guy.

SHRINKDOC: Hey, what part of NO NAMES do you not understand?

NOTMORALTORREL: Can it doc! I hate Sheppard too.

LUVINYOU: Wait, we were all referring to a common foe? How funny is that?

ANCIENTWANNABE: Yes

NOTMORALTORREL: Yes you idiot.

E-KOLI: Yes

MEANYQUEENY: Yesss

TAVACHIEFTAIN: Yes

BUGLORD: Yes

MARABARA: Yep

LUVINYOU: Eww did you sleep with him?

MARABARA: Wouldn't you like to know….I wanted to…..not anymore. Now all I want to do nothing more than take a dull hair pin and……

SHRINKDOC: Calm down everyone..

MEANYQUEENY: I will suck his life dry.

E-KOLI: Not if I kill him first.

BUGLORD: My forces will beat you all to it.

LUVINYOU: I think we need to rename this forum to 'John Sheppard Must Die"

E-KOLI: First intelligent thing you have posted.

LUVINYOU: Hey!

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At this point Kate was so engrossed with what she was reading that she failed to notice the appearance of her next appointment. Dr. Weir had just entered for her weekly session and was trying to get her attention. Elizabeth, being the intuitive woman that she was realized something had to be pretty important or interesting to distract the shrink so much, and inquired as to what she was doing. Kate replied filling her in on the 'I hate Colonel Sheppard Fan Club' that she had unwittingly started.

After Elizabeth finished her session, she hurried back to her office to see what Heightmeyer's AWOL thread contained. As she read each entry she realized that the stories were pretty familiar. She soon was able to figure out who just about everyone was. LUVINYOU was unmistakably Lucius Luvin. There were only so many men who had seven wives and were beloved by all. BUGLORD had to be Michael. _Yeah, she had to admit, they did screw him over a couple too many times_. NOTMORALTORREL was a give away once she remembered that mission from a while back. The team had said he seemed a bit unstable; he must have a long memory as well. MARABARA was another flash from the past. Elizabeth had thought that they were on okay terms because they had gotten the drones and stuff, but apparently Mara was still upset. She shuddered as she realized who ANICENTWANNABE was, Niam. Yeah, they had not done too well with him, but it wasn't entirely John's fault though and she wondered why he was singled out. TAVACHIEFTAIN was one that she had no idea who that was. The team had gone on several missions where they had offended the natives and had to make a "strategic retreat". Well, Rodney didn't call him Kirk for nothing. MEANYQUEENY was another she couldn't put a finger on, and assumed that it was one of the countless hive queens out there that wanted nothing more than to wipe them out. Then there was E-KOLI. That identity to them was pretty obvious, and unfortunately reading it from his point of view did make her feel a little guilty in the beginning. However once she read though all his posts he was back on the top of the "evil list".

Elizabeth was just nearing the end of the thread, trying to contain her laughter, when the posters realized that they were all talking about the same person. when the man himself sauntered into her office and sat down in front of her, propping his feet up on her desk.

"So….whatcha doing?" He asked.

Elizabeth quickly tried to collect herself as she shut her laptop, "Nothing. Just reading boring science reports," She replied innocently.

John rolled his eyes at her and said, "Please, science reports don't cause you to make that face when you read them."

"And what face might that be?" she asked leaning back in her chair.

He smiled sitting up and leaning towards her desk, "The one that is a cross between a frown and trying to keep from cracking up. So, what's so funny?"

"I really would rather not share," Elizabeth replied trying to get off the subject. In truth she didn't want him to read this because she wasn't sure how he'd react. However, it wouldn't be long before more people found out about it. There weren't that many sites on the internet that attracted as much attention at Kate's.

"What? Is it chick stuff? 'Cause if it's not, you know I could use a good laugh."

Elizabeth sighed and she cryptically answered, "Go read Kate's new thread."

"That's it? You aren't going to tell me anything else?" John asked looking pouty.

"Nope," replied Elizabeth busying herself with her work around her. She watched as John, looking defeated, got up and headed out of her office.

About an hour and a half later John waltzed back into her office carrying food and a laptop of all things. "I come bearing sustenance."

Elizabeth closed her laptop and pushed it to the side and replied, "What this is not the most comfortable place for a movie night," referring to the laptop he had set down. It was unusual to see John carry around a laptop at all, unless of course he was delivering mission reports that always tended to be late.

"Nope, I thought you might want something to eat since you missed dinner again," replied John.

Elizabeth started to eat, but her attention was soon drawn to her companion who had opened the laptop and was typing away at it. "What are you doing?" she asked trying to see what he was doing.

John didn't look up as he replied, "Just putting my two cents in. You know this is a security issue. How did so many of our enemies gain access to the internet when we only gave out laptops to our allies?"

"Hmm interesting question, they probably want as much intel as possible and with all the trading markets we left laptops in, it's no wonder some fell into the wrong hands," replied Elizabeth. "Hey you aren't actually posting on that site are you?" she asked with a bad feeling.

John looked a little guilty as he replied, "Maybe………oh you're curious aren't you?" He stood up and scooted his chair around next to hers so she could see the screen.

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Peg Web Forums—Groups-- Foes:

IWALKTHELINE: So uh, are you sure this is Sheppard's fault? I mean none of you had ANYTHING WHAT SO EVER to do with it at all? There is no possible way that his actions could have been in self defense or retaliation for what YOU might have done?

BUGLORD: Most definitely not.

MARABARA: Agreed

E-KOLI: Nope not my fault.

MEANYQUEENY: No

NOTMORALTORREL: Nu-uh.

ANCIENTWANNABE: Certainly not.

LUVINYOU: Of course it was all his fault. Whose side are you on anyway?

IWALKTHELINE: Umm……….mine?!? I must say, I didn't know you guys cared so much.

E-KOLI: You are dead Sheppard!!

IWALKTHELINE: Funny….I'm still here that I know of…I think.

BUGLORD: Next time we meet I will kill you.

E-KOLI: Not if I get there first.

NOTMORALTORREL: No I will.

MARABARA: I will send my men to finish the job.

ANCIENTWANNABE: Most definitely not, we will do it first.

MEANYQUEENY: DIE!

IWALKTHELINE: 'Kay you all have fun fighting over who's gonna kill me now!

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John finished his last post and signed off. "Well then, that outta keep them busy for a while," he said to Elizabeth rather cheerily.

"You know that just made them angrier," she cautioned.

He shrugged, "Yeah but I feel so much better, now."

"Why can't you just play nice?" asked Elizabeth playfully.

"I'm _always_ nice," replied John sarcastically.

_Right_, thought Elizabeth, _that's why so many people want to kill you that they've started an 'I hate John Sheppard' forum._

--fin--


End file.
